5 attitudes that slowly destroy a couple

If you want to make your relationship last, there are things you should definitely not do. When we talk about “things”, we mainly mean: behaviours or some attitudes.

According to Myriam Bidaud, couple coach and therapist, founder of Atout Couple, there are behaviors to ban in a relationship. “We can call them “red flags”, red flags in French, and are attitudes that destroy a couple”. She specifies: “You need to analyze the behaviors that you do not support in building your relationship.” Among the attitudes that destroy a couple, we of course note:

#1 Violence

Violence in all its forms must be banned. Whether it is physical, verbal, psychological… It must at no time exist and be endorsed in a couple relationship.

#2 Excessive jealousy

Excessive jealousy is often unhealthy. It creates tension, fractures and will never do a relationship any good. In case of disagreement, hurt or doubt, it is important to communicate calmly with your partner. “Excessive jealousy is a sign of very significant insecurity which is played out by two people, but which is the responsibility of the jealous person who must work on this point. This can have a real impact on the relationship.”

#3 Lack of trust and honesty

For a relationship to last, you have to be able to be honest, yourself and authentic. By creating a foundation of a couple that is based on sincerity, this makes it possible to build a lasting and solid relationship.

#4 Reproaches

When we are in a lasting relationship, we tend to blame: “However, we must get out of it, reproaches do no good. Consider rephrasing the way you say things”indicates the professional.

#5 The past

Constantly talking about past things, with a feeling of regret and sadness, does not bring anything good into a relationship. This leads to negative things in the relationship. Conversely, talking about past events, in a previous relationship, with your partner, in order to alert you to what you do not want to repeat, is rather positive.

#6 Secrets

Finally, having secrets in a relationship can be very toxic and negative for the relationship. There is a difference between having your “secret garden” with experiences, an experience, a story that you do not wish to share, and building a relationship based on lies, unsaid things and secrets. “If you try to hide something from your partner, for fear of a reaction, this is not positive behavior.”

For a relationship that lasts, it is important to respect the four fundamental pillars of the couple. As Margaux Terrou, clinical sexologist and therapist, explains, these are based on: “sharing, admiration, trust/communication, sexuality”. She specifies: These four pillars feed and influence each other.” It is therefore important to pamper them.

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