How can we work on intimacy?

How can we work on intimacy?

Sexual relationships are those that combine sexual and emotional elements between two or more people. These relationships can vary widely in form and structure, including from traditional monogamous relationships to open, polyamorous relationships. What defines them is the combination of an emotional connection with a sexual attractioncreating a bond that satisfies both emotional and physical needs.


Diversity in sexual relationships reflects the variety of ways in which people can connect and relate. Some people may find satisfaction in a monogamous relationship, while others may prefer non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. This diversity is not only valid, but it is also a natural part of the human experience.

Intimacy plays a crucial role in any sexual relationship. Intimacy refers to the emotional closeness, trust, and mutual understanding that develops between the people involved. This emotional closeness is essential for satisfaction and well-being in a relationship, as it allows people to feel safe and valued.

Why can they cost the LGTBIQ+ community?

People in the LGTBIQ+ community often face unique problems in their sexual relationships due to various social, cultural and personal factors. One of the most prominent factors is discrimination and social stigma. Homophobia, transphobia and other forms of discrimination can create an environment of insecurity and rejection, negatively affecting self-esteem and self-perception.


Discrimination can have a profound impact on the mental and emotional health of LGTBIQ+ people. Fear of rejection or violence can lead to identity concealment, which in turn can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. These experiences can hinder the ability to open up emotionally and form intimate bonds.

Additionally, many LGTBIQ+ people may have grown up in environments that did not validate their identities and orientations. This early rejection can be internalized, creating a negative perception of oneself and the possibility of having healthy relationships. The lack of positive models of LGTBIQ+ relationships can also contribute to the difficulty of imagining and building satisfying relationships.

Experiences of rejection and discrimination can lead to relationship patterns characterized by fear of abandonment or avoidance of emotional closeness. These patterns may be defense mechanisms that, although initially protecting from possible wounds, in the long term can prevent the formation of deep and satisfying intimate bonds. Recognizing and working on these patterns is essential to improving the quality of relationships.

Can healthier bonds of intimacy be generated?

It is essential to recognize and validate one’s own experiences and feelings. Understanding how the past and environment have influenced current perceptions and behaviors is the first step toward change. This self-reflection can help identify negative patterns and work on their transformation. Introspection and acceptance of one’s own experiences are essential to begin this process.


Furthermore, encourage an environment of support and mutual understanding is essential. Healthy relationships are built on respect and empathy. Clearly and openly communicating needs, wants, and boundaries can help avoid misunderstandings and strengthen emotional connection. It is important to create a safe space where everyone feels valued and heard.

Social support also plays a crucial role in building healthy bonds. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can offer a network of support and understanding. Support groups and LGTBIQ+ communities can provide a sense of belonging and validation that is essential for emotional well-being and building intimate relationships.

Guidelines for working on sexual relationships in the LGTBIQ+ community

Sexual relationships can be a source of significant emotional support. In a relationship where intimacy is present, people can share your deepest thoughts and feelings, knowing that they will be understood and accepted. This emotional support can be particularly important in times of stress or difficulty, providing a safe and loving refuge.

Through these guidelines we can work on sexual relationships in the LGTBIQ+ community:

1. Open and honest communication

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Talking openly about feelings, expectations, and boundaries can help create mutual understanding and prevent conflict. It is important to actively listen and express one’s needs clearly and respectfully.

Communication not only involves speaking, but also actively listening. This means paying attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting or judging. Active listening can improve understanding and strengthen emotional bond. It is also useful to practice assertiveness, expressing one’s needs clearly and directly, but with respect.

2. Self-knowledge and self-acceptance

Knowing and accepting who you are is crucial to building healthy intimate relationships. Working on self-acceptance and self-esteem can help you be more open and secure in your relationships. Reflect on your past experiences and how they have influenced your perception of yourself and your relationships.

Self-knowledge involves a deep exploration of one’s own feelings, desires and needs. Taking time to reflect on past experiences and how they have shaped current perceptions and behaviors can provide a clearer understanding of oneself. This self-reflection can be facilitated through practices such as meditation, journaling, or therapy.

3. Set healthy boundaries

Knowing what your limits are and communicating them clearly is essential to maintaining a balanced and respectful relationship. Boundaries can be emotional, physical, or time-based, and must be respected by all parties involved.

Emotional boundaries are essential to protect emotional well-being. This involves recognizing what types of behaviors and situations are acceptable and which are not. Communicating these boundaries clearly and assertively can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. Emotional boundaries can include things like the need for personal space or the way disagreements are handled.

4. Seek support in the community

Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be very beneficial. Support groups and LGTBIQ+ communities can offer a safe space to share, learn and grow. These connections can provide a sense of belonging and understanding that is critical to emotional well-being.

Support groups can offer a space where people can share their experiences and receive emotional support. These groups can be formal, such as therapy groups, or informal, such as social gatherings organized by the LGTBIQ+ community. These environments provide a safe space for self-expression and the sharing of experiences, which is essential for personal growth and the development of healthy relationships.

5. Practice empathy and respect

Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings. Practicing empathy and respect in your relationships can help strengthen emotional connection and build a solid foundation of trust and mutual understanding.

Empathy involves not only understanding the other person’s feelings, but also showing that those feelings are validated and respected. This can be achieved through active listening, showing genuine interest in the other person’s experiences and emotions, and responding in a way that demonstrates understanding and support. Empathy creates a space where all parties feel valued and understood.

As we see, although sexual relationships in the LGTBIQ+ community may face specific problems, it is possible to work on building healthier and more satisfying bonds. Through open communication, self-awareness, setting healthy boundaries, seeking support in the community, and practicing empathy and respect, intimate relationships can be created that nourish and enrich the lives of everyone involved.

These guidelines They are not only useful for the LGTBIQ+ community, but can also be applied to any sexual relationship, promoting emotional health and satisfaction in interpersonal relationships. Working on intimacy and relationships is an ongoing process that requires commitment, patience, and love, both toward oneself and others.

* Ángel Rull, psychologist.

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